Lost Boys
by Phoenixfall
Summary: After defeating Sendak and saving earth, the Paladins finally get a moment to recover. Keith is restless, hating that he is restricted to his hospital room. Kosmo, like a good boy he is, transports Keith to the rooftop to vent to the stars. He laments about his conflicting feelings about Voltron and someone that he hates to like, not just to Kosmo, but to someone else as well.


Pain jabbed his side, causing a pale man to groan once more. Plain pearl white walls surrounded each side, only breaking for a small window on the south wall and a light brown door on the north wall. Consistent beeping coming from his left allowed the doctors to monitor his heartbeat that interrupted any attempts to sleep. The mattress was thin and highly uncomfortable, making his body significantly sore.

The only reassurance he had was currently taking up more than half the bed and currently crushing his ribcage. A rather large indigo blue creature was sprawled out across the tiny hospital bed, head resting on his chest. Searing yellow eyes blinked slowly as he ran his fingers through the baby blue tuft atop of the space wolf's head,"These past few days have been hectic, huh boy?"

Kosmo whimpered, nuzzling the face of a pale man affectionately.

"You think you can get me to the roof?" Keith murmured,"All this hospital stuff is suffocating." He hardly finished his sentence before a blinding bright blue light blinded him momentarily as his feet met a hard service. The Black Paladin stumbled, causing him to lean on the wolf with a mumbled,"Thanks."

He shivered against the slight wind that whisked through the air, pulling his jacket closer around himself. Keith took a couple of steps over to the brick railing that stood just over two meters tall, sliding to the ground so his back rested against the wall. Soft humming from an air conditioning unit from the far end of the rooftop complimented by the hustle of cars from far below.

"This is as quiet as I'll ever get," he sighed, lifting his gaze to search the stars above. This was the first time he had been truly alone in technically years. On the Castle of Lions, he was just doors away from his fellow Paladins and often sleeping in ships surrounding by his Blade of Marmora companions.

His mind succumbed to the curiosity that haunted the outskirts of his memory since the excruciating two years on the universe whale. The future visions caused great confusion he had little to no context as to how some of these situations happened. A fair number of the visions came into fruition after the discovery of the Altean colony, the fight with Shiro, and the war for earth. A few hazy visions of a particular paladin would cause Keith to get flustered and irritated because of emotions he suppressed long ago. Krolia attempted to get him to talk about what he saw, usually leading to the paladian wander off to avoid spilling his heart out.

"But why _him_?" Keith growled to himself, chucking a small pebble across the rooftop,"After all this time, what am I supposed to do, Kosmo? This is our first glimpse of peace and all I feel is hopeless."

Kosmo cocked his head to the side, stunning yellow eyes bright against the dark night sky. The monochromatic blue wolf released a teleporting flash, leaving Keith completely alone on the rooftop.

"I don't even know if we'll have a team anymore. I can't blame Pidge, Hunk or Lance for wanting to stay with their families," his heart sank at the idea at having his family split up again. He rested his head against the course brick as his eyelids slowly slid shut. Slight crunching of pebbles alerted that Kosmo was back, Keith continued to lament. His space wolf was the only thing he could talk to without judgement.

"I thought if I left to join the Blades, I would leave my feelings for him behind," a pathetic laugh escaped his lips at how wrong he had been,"not intensify..."

The familiar feeling of desperation and desire pricked at his heart like it did every time his brain tortured him with the thought of Lance,"I don't know how to do this anymore. We all have a chance to be happy, to let Voltron pick better suited paladins instead of some hopeless kids that got roped into saving the universe."  
The thought of living a calm, civilian life left a bad taste in his mouth as he pushed the idea away,"No. I belong out there, countless planets need help and I can't sit by and do nothing."

Footsteps disrupted his chain of thought as Kosmo padded over in his direction. There was something off about his gait but Keith paid no mind and continued his one sided argument,"I'm just so tired of being alone, at least I have you and Krolia."  
"You are not alone, Keith," an alarming voice murmured as the pebbles next to him shift as someone sat down next to him.

His eyes opened immediately, body stiffening at the sight of a sandy brown jacket matched with olive skin and messy oak hair. Stormy blue eyes met a calm sky as their eyes met for a second before Keith looked away briskly.

"How much did you hear?" Keith inquired through a tight jaw. He glared at Kosmo, who was laying quiet comfortably a couple of yards away.

"You can talk to us you know," Lance ignored his question as he turned his lanky body to see the pale paladin a little better,"You can talk to me."

Keith's heart pounded to such extent he could hardly breathe as his hands tightened to a fist. Talking about his battlefield of emotions was something that he rarely did, but talking about someone that he genuinely likes in a not so platonic way was definitely not something he desired. Especially when it is that person.

In response to Keith's silence, Lance leaned a little closer, forcing the Voltron leader look at him,"Don't shut me out, not now. We've come to far together."  
"I left Voltron, I left the team. The things I've done…" He couldn't tear himself away from Lance's pleading clear blue eyes.

"We have all done things to survive. Without you, we wouldn't have been able to stop Lotor or save Shiro," Lance replied quietly,"I would have liked if you had stayed, but I understand why you left."

"It's not that simple," words rushed out of his mouth before he had a chance to comprehend what he was saying,"I always run away. Hurt others before they hurt me."

Pain flashed through his eyes but Lance did not speak for excruciatingly long lasting seconds as he contemplated an adequate response.

"I am sorry," Lance said, his tone strained with countless questions.

"It isn't your fault, I tend to do these things to myself," Keith rested his forehead against his knees. There were so many things he wanted to say but he was incapable of expressing out of fear that his feelings were guaranteed to be rejected.

"You aren't helping yourself by keeping what you feel concealed," he heard pebbles shifting and slight warmth as Lance moved slightly closer.

"If only it was so simple," Keith's voice was muffled as he hugged his knees. Cold dread spiked at his heart, slowly spreading through his veins through each heartbeat. The truth was becoming unavoidable,"I am… scared."

"Keith, you have faced death time and time again. You almost died multiple times, faced an evil Shiro, led Voltron to save Earth. You are fearless," Lance could not hide the surprise in his voice at the sudden vulnerability revealed by Black Paladin.

"How can you do it?" He leaned back against the wall, focusing his steel blue gaze on to the waning moon above.

"Do what?" Confusion resulted in a quiet response from Lance.

"You are unfazed this mess that we've gone through. Always joking, flirting, never

affected," the were only a handful of times that Keith could recall that Lance was this serious.

"I hide it better than you do, emo boy," Lance murmured painfully, almost too quiet for Keith to hear.

"You would think that after all this time, I'd have no issue talking about what is on my mind…" he said partially to himself. Keith risked a glance at Lance whom eyes remained fixated is own. Genuine worry and warmth puslated in the reassuring blue pool as Keith hesitated.

"And what is on your mind?" The young Cuban man refused to back down as he kept his position.

"You. You taunt me around every corner, unintentionally causing my heart to quicken at every joke. It was torture seeing you in so much pain when Allura and Lotor were together. Seeing you grow as a person since that cocky pilot to a confident leader has been a delight. There wasn't a day when I worried about you while I was on Blade missions," Keith started to ramble, unsure of how to string together what he was feeling in a way that Lance would understand.

Unimaginable weight vanished from his shoulders despite the grip of desperation that held his heart. He hopelessly scanned the endless green gaze for any sign of response, surprised to see a strange spark of affection.

"No more running away on Blade missions, okay?" Lance murmured softly as a slight smile slid across his lips.

"Okay," Keith nodded after stifling a yawn with his hand.

"What are you doing out here anyways?" The Red Paladin questioned as an attempt to get Keith to open up, changing topics abruptly.

"Couldn't sleep," Keith mumbled as he adjusted his jacket in a failed endeavor in get a tad warmer.

"So you decided to go on the roof during the middle of the night where it is freezing?" Lance teased lightly with his left eyebrow raised.

"Why are you still here then if it's freezing? Kosmo can take you back," he pointed out, partially asking the question to himself. Pebbles shifted as the rather large black-blue wolf stood up at the sound of his name. He trotted over to where the two men sat, surprisingly quiet granted his size, tail wagging happily. Kosmo lightly laid down next to Keith, curling into a tight fluffy ball against his side.

"Because no sane person would be out here after several near death experiences without good reason," Lance replied through a tight jaw. His eyes unfocused for just a moment, causing Keith's chest to burn with a feeling of sorrow at watching his friend likely thinking back to one of his many near death experiences.

"You are here too," Keith's gaze fixated on Kosmo as he gently stroked the royal blue soft fur.

After a few heartbeats of consideration, Lance cautiously said,"Do you know what it's like, being torn between two people but you don't know if what you are feeling is real?

Surprised and confused by this statement, Keith reluctantly admitted,"More or less." Jealousy stabbed straight through his heart as he knew one of the people Lance longingly talked about was Allura, but had no clue on who the second person could be,"I'm not the best person for girl talk."

"Keith," the desperation in Lance's voice caused Keith to look back at him,"Please."  
The Black Paladin shrugged and said nothing despite the building curiosity that tinged his throat.

"I did genuinely like Allura, but after seeing her with Lotor, I realized that she would never care for me, not like that. For this other person, I built something up so much in my head to disguise what I really felt so that it didn't feel real," Lance lifted his head to the night sky, eyes now fixated on the waning moon.

"So tell me about this other person," Keith asked, poorly attempting to hide his jealousy with a small cough.

Lance hesitated for a minute or two before speaking quietly,"Well, he is stupidly courageous, stubborn to no end. Selfless to a fault, annoyingly closed off…" His eyes sparkled with mischief that was only illuminated by the pathetic grin that plastered Lance's tan face.

The familiar taste of blood tainted his mouth as Keith accidentally drew blood from biting his cheek just hard enough to break skin," _Him_?" Fading recollection tapped his memory, awakening the realization that he lived this night before. No matter how much he tried to discover the blurred face from one of the countless visions provided by his journey on the space whale, he never could have hoped to imagined it would be with Lance.

"Yeah," the Red Paladin scratched the back of his neck embarrassingly,"Gay relationships aren't too common in Cuba, the only real exposure I got was when Shiro first came out. Its not that I didn't want to, it was a terrifying thought to me. I have no idea what my family will say," there was more to that sentence that Lance just could not finish as he stared down at his feet.

"You have your Voltron family, we'll support you regardless," Keith said as he let his hand rest on Lance's arm,"You have grown from that careless boy that was obsessed with beating me to an incredible paladin. I couldn't ask for a better right hand man." There were countless reasons why he was proud of Lance, none of them would sound platonic so he restrained from saying anymore. Keith had no idea if Lance knew on any level that he was gay, his sexuality never really came up during missions.

"Stay with us," Lance said rather unexpectedly,, his voice tight with pain as he made no attempt to hide what he was feeling,"You can't keep running away."  
"I won't," Keith responded immediately, shocking both men at how quickly he responded,"I know now my place is with Voltron, we can tackle anything together."  
Once more, shaded violet eyes connected with heart stopping crystal blue as the two young men faced each other. Chilling white light beautifully lined tan skin, illuminated Lance's body with moonlight.

Each second that ticked by drove Keith crazy with an undeniable desire, so strong it rivaled his familial bond with Shiro. In this moment, the world was perfect as he sat on the rooftop. A perfect, quiet moment that was exceedingly rare in their line of work as Keith knew well enough he would never get a chance quiet like this again.

Keith forced aside dangerous thoughts that threatened to deter him as he abruptly leaned towards Lance, ignoring the pebbles that now jabbed his rear uncomfortably. He had not given the clumsy Cuban a chance to act as Keith placed a light kiss on to Lance's lips before tearing himself away seconds later.

"What the hell?" Lance stuttered, resembling a deer in entranced by headlights with his sky blue eyes widened in disbelief.

Guilt, fear, and immense terror puddled together in Keith's chest as he realized what he had done. Their friendship that took so long to solidify was going to crumble because he lost control.

"Sorry," his skin burned in embarrassment as he grasped the hard brick wall with his left hand, pulling himself away from the comfort of Kosmo.

"You don't have to be," Lance said suddenly as he reached out, wrapping his fingers around Keith's right wrist. He pulled himself up, wincing with pain as his free hand grabbed at his left side.

"Careful," Keith said sharply, guiding Lance closer using the hands they still had intertwined.

"Come on mullet, you know a few broken ribs can keep me down for long," Lance grinned pathetically,"however, it seems you've discovered my weakness."

"Your what?" His thick black eyebrows knitted together in confusion, although he did not have to ponder long as Lance took Keith by surprise and kissed him. The kiss was drastically different than the first, mutually passionate as it appeared Lance was holding back just as long as Keith had been.

The two separated after a few heartbeats, both awestruck and blushing blood red. Keith rested his forehead against Lance's, wrapping both of his arms around his shoulders. This night had gone in a completely different direction, one that he could only dream about. The two men stood, embracing each other truly for the first time.

One man, just a boy from Cuba.

The other, an orphan from Texas.


End file.
